Speaking from the heart

A while back, a friend of mind commented that my writings were too factual, and never really revealing my emotions. I've been re-reading my older posts, and I realised that I started out with great passion. This passion was ignited by hate and negativity. Hate towards the regime, hate towards life's injustice and hate towards the unfairness in life. This was what drove me to write and condemn the present government ever so often.

This eventually changed after the March 8 elections. The PR government toppling 5 states was symbolic, not only of a new dawn of politics in Malaysia, but symbolic of the passion in all Malaysians alike. It wasn't just a victory for PKR, or PAS or DAP, but a victory for the people, to believe that the choices we make in life lay in our hands.

However, the turn of events after the elections, where there was constant sabotage whether from inside or outside, the continuous manipulation by the mainstream media, the continuous denial by the BN government of our voices led me to write in a humdrum manner. I was sick and bored of seeing the same things over and over again, of how slow things were moving, of constant talks of change but never really changing.

So I tried to extricate emotion from all these happenings, feeling jaded, that perhaps we were fighting a lost cause. I didn't want to be negative, yet I couldn't be positive about what I wrote. So I lost passion for a moment, running out of ideas of how to touch people and reach out to them.

But this past week or so, I have seen things that have made me feel again, and this time hope has returned, however only after tragedy set in. This started with the outrageous arrests of RPK, Teresa and Tan. The feeling of anger and injustice arose yet again. This time I decided, by hook or by crook I will do everything necessary to show my support. So for the past 3 days I have been to all 3 events held to show solidarity for the detainees and the abolishent of ISA. The first was the Bukit Aman vigil,the second being the bloghouse vigil, and finally yesterday the commemoration of Malaysia Day and solidarity to demand for the abolishment of ISA at Kelana Jaya Stadium.

I smsed most of the people listed in my phonebook, but unfortunately, not many showed up among them. Of course they had their reasons, however I couldn't help but feel disappointed that they did not care enough to show up. The past 3 days though, despite not being able to convince any newcomers to come along, has truly ignited my feelings of kinship with other fellow Malaysians. Many of them, from all walks of life, whether they knew the detainees personally, or were regular civilians showed up in solidarity for all 3 events. And 2 of them were on very short notice as well.

We did not do much, except light candles and sing, and listen to speeches. It didn't take a lot of effort. But the feeling of togetherness and unity could not have been any stronger than at those moments in time when all of us, who took the time off our busy schedules to care, felt more strongly united as Malaysians. The common hope and need in all of us for a better Malaysia, brought us together those 3 days, united as a nation, fighting for a single cause; against injustice, inequality and racial divide.

For anyone who feels that they have given up all hope in this nation, I urge you to feel the togetherness at these gatherings. The next time we fight for a cause, be a part of it, make yourself be counted, and you will believe once again in the common goodness of humanity. Though divided we are in language,colour,religion and anything else, at the end of the day you realise that we are all Malaysians, merely seeking to improve ourselves and our surrounding, and that we are really not that different at all.

So for those of you who were not there, I've linked the videos here , here and here . Also, here's a link to a posting on the bloghouse gathering here. To those who were there, thank you for keeping the hope alive in me. I'm truly proud to be a Malaysian because of you.