Quick Dummies' Nonsensical Guide to Street Demonstrations

  1. Do not stand at the side of the crowds. Stand inside the crowds.
  2. Stand beside a lady if you can find one. They (FRU) seldom whack girls. Don't ever stand beside a big-sized guy (no offense to bodybuilders please).
  3. Wear sport shoes. Handy when the running starts.
  4. Know the location of the nearest sinsei.
  5. Watch the movie '300' before going.
  6. Know the telephone numbers of your lawyers. You may need more than one. It helps, of course, if your MP is a lawyer.
Updated (June 4,2008):
  1. Bring a catapult and stand inside the crowds to launch your ammo (depending on how long you want to stay in Kamunting, you may either choose longan seeds (make sure you start eating your longans from today to save the seeds); marbles or ball bearings)
  2. Pretend to be nursing a leg injury and still in cast, and walking with a steel tongkat. (No prizes for guessing why pretend to do this).
  3. Wear extra thick clothing. Bring along knee pads, elbow pads and baseball catcher’s helmet (Again, no prizes for guessing why bring such stuff).
  4. Last but not least,…..make sure you have your WILL done, signed and executed (? Not sure about the ‘executed’ part ?)
  5. Protests are great for launching political careers for the next GE. Your poster tagline will be ‘membela nasib rakyat; bekas tahanan ISA’ ,etc. Adds weight to the resume.


  1. do you think i should put a pillow under my shirt then if they try to arrest me pretend to go into labor?hahaha

  2. just don't stand next to me.

    Damn, kel... I was wondering why people never stand near me.

    I thought it was the cologne.